Wolf 1. Wolf 2.

First.  Sometimes this computer stuff makes me need to run down to the highway and back to blow off steam…  I get frustrated easy when I know what I want to do or say and electronics stop me.

I forgot my password or typed it in wrong and was made to wait for 30 minutes to reset…And still it messed with me.  I must love you and/or this connecting thing,  because I hung in here;  but I am silly to act like it is for you and you alone.  (The truth is that I started this post on Friday and gave my laptop the silent treatment while I was busy being a Farm Girl.)

I want and need to do this.  It truly helps me specifically and the part where you listen and read is so motivating… and the comments are so cool.  Super cool.    I can’t see your face.  I can’t hear you breathe. I don’t feel worry.   I can’t interpret your response with body language or face moves.  I can just be me here… And, you can too.

Preface aside,  I had two Wolf experiences this week.  It is ironic that I wanted to savor it for myself and then,  when I am ready to share, I hit a speed bump.

Computers sort of suck.  And. Computers are sort of cool.

It was my Walt week and I usually schedule Business or Doctor stuff in the City at the same time.  So.  Early Wednesday morning I woke up feeling rested and blessed that I had ten minutes to stare at the trees outside my window.  We needed to be on the road by 7am. I pop out to the Family room with the huge picture window to try some Yoga moves and I see three deer galloping like happy horses down in the field…

Just perky and jumpy and bony.  Just alive.  Living.

Deer are all around here and not such a big deal to us locals. 🙂    But. Have you seen one?

I love all animals and wow this Planet has tons…

We make it to the Jeep in time to stop at the Mortgage Title Company in the next town.  I needed to deal with paperwork regarding my Mom and Dad and my brother and this 80 acres and what will be what.  My mom died and her name was on this Deed.  We needed to remove her name.  Avoiding Probate stuff…pfft.

Anyway.  I am waiting for the lovely girl to process my papers and she gets a call and puts me in a room with a stuffed White Wolf and I love dogs and so I just wanted a closer look.  She leaves to answer the phone and I check it out.  This White Wolf was scrawny and stuffed and posed on a log but still a wolf/dog.  I felt its’ body and paws.  The paws were huge,  the fur softish.  But like it had hairspray on it.  I WAS grossed out at its’ fate.  I love dogs.  Now I love Wolves too…

Meanwhile,  Walt is chillin with his Ipad in the waiting room…

We do our business and hit the road… I am thinking all day about:  I wonder how that Wolf ended up stuffed in a conference room in Milltown , Wisconsin.  And are there white wolves around here or did they ship it from someplace?  And when will I get a puppy?

The next day.

Backpack and boy and snacks in the Jeep for our 90 minute ride to Minneapolis and off we go…

The Sun as it rises makes everything reddish but the snow in the shade is blueish and the Horses are out eating what they eat and I, at my age, (spiritual more than chronological),  just revel revel revel…,  55 miles per hour and there are Goats and Sheep grazing on what they can or do,  and Eagles are looking for roadkill to munch. I see a group of lady Pheasants running for cover.  Things are melting here too fast!

My mornings always start with a maybe this or a maybe that. One never knows with an Autistic teenager…

I am worshipping the beauty here… I am always trying to be in a Thankful State of Mind anyway,  BUT.    The sky and the trees and the colors of nature are what this whole life experience for me is all about. Blessed Blessed Blessed.  Perfect morning!

It’s like in the olden days when the needle on the record is rocking and rolling and then just hits a snag  and I see what I had to see and after a quick argue in my head, I pull over…scratch .

Even driving fast and having a brain that is so so busy:  I see this maybe dog sleeping on the bridge over the creek and can’t not stop.   I really do just instantly and instinctually pull over.  I sit for a sec.  I know I’m just a human and a huge thing with huge fur is in a pile on a tiny bridge over a creek.   I realize what this experience could do to me possibly.  ALL I KNOW is that if it was my dog I would want someone to say something.  Do something.

I stop.  I back up.

Ohh people It was not a dog.  Oh no it is not sleeping…

It was an amazingly, stunningly, gorgeous creature.

It was just there with no crime scene drama.  Like it was just asleep.

I had backed up close and tiptoed in.   This was a real wolf.

So dignified.  So Regal.

It wasn’t bloody or mangled.  Just asleep -like. But stiff legs.  My heart is pounding. There are no cars whizzing by and no house in sight… Just me and Oh My Gosh I love dogs like crazy so I eased over and touched it.  The fur has so many layers. Super soft on the inside.  Thicker that you could ever imagine but the softest smoothest delicate touch.   It felt like nothing else I have ever felt.  I will never be able to adequately describe it and I will never ever forget it.  I am obviously covered in tears.  Not sobs but just eyes leaking and leaking.  Anyway…

It was fat and healthy looking and I wished it could be my eternal companion…  I imagined us running in the woods and kayaking and cruising in the Jeep.  Silly girl stuff.

I walked back to the car to get my phone to call the DNR to come and get it.  I wasn’t leaving it there.   I also asked Walt to come see…

I can’t say come see this or check this out;  I can only say, “I need help will you help?”

Walt gets out of the Jeep and walks over to the Wolf and picks up a rock and tosses it into the stream and says, ” It’s dead”, and goes back to the car…

His the Yin to my Yang….

I can’t fight with pictures  for this post and the ones you make in your mind are way better anyway.  🙂   I feel so great getting this one out.

I have another big story you will love soon…:D        mmmm Trees

Cherish Life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lupercalia

Ok.  Single or not,  you might be interested to find out how we ended up with this big deal, the big day, the day that can make or break something that should be unbreakable to begin with,  if it is truly real…

Valentine’s Day. … Look at this picture below the flowers.

The truth is,  that most men don’t understand that it is about the friends, the family, the others in the office or warehouse or whatever… They all SEE they all ASK.  They all Judge.  It is not easy to not want the Big Barbie Dream House and to not wantto get it in front of everyone that fusses about it and all around us…

Even though it is shallow and we know it.

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And.  The stories of men who leave or cheat or lie are everywhere. :/  Women too though.

A real Human who knows and feels that you LOVE  them does not care about the Hallmark holiday trappings…

I will never believe that there are not real amazing people who are worth committing to…

So. Back to the research…    This Valentine’s Day can be traced back to the Pagan Holiday called Lupercalia.

 

It is a Fertility festival and had been celebrated for hundreds of years before the Romans and Christians cleaned it up.  Like way B.C.

So.   The men of the village get naked and sacrifice two goats and one dog.

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Then they make mini skirts, (Loin Cloths), out of goat skin and then,   also,    cut long strips of bloody hairy goat skin to thwack the women.

The women have lined up on the street: the pregnant women are hoping for an easy birth. The bloody hairy goat thrash should help.

The un-pregnant women line up to enhance their fertility by having bloody hairy goat skin whapped on them… that will do it.   In some ways it is no more ridiculous that what the Urban Female does.  More on that later.

So.  That happens, and there is a feast of goats and many things, (organic for sure),  and I could not find out why the Dog was included in the sacrifice, other than that dogs will fornicate anywhere and in front of anyone.

Hence the Fertility Ceremony I guess?

But wait!  Folks it gets more interesting…

After the Thwaping and the Feasting the single ladies wrote their name on a leaf and the men would pick one.

Seriously.  The coupling might last a night or week or month but the next year we all go back into the pile… Unless it works out.  Unless he is the One.  So 1970’s right?

Oh Wow.

I do hope you are still here with me because this is for you!   If Valentine’s Day is about Love then I challenge you, coupled or not to remember who you were just before puberty.  Like before the opposite sex was a big deal, what was a big deal?

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I was and am completely nuts for music and puzzles and maps and Encyclopedia Brown and Nancy Drew… I had already nerded out on public television and watched tons of fake wrestling and shows about cars.  I still could spend all darn day at a Car Show.

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Elvis was sort of a big deal because my Moms’ mom loved him and I just fell madly in love with Rock and Roll, and my Grandma, but that led me to the Blues…,

I will digress a second.  Lead Belly,  Robert Johnson,  James Brown,  Bessie Smith,  Buddy Guy,  Johnny Cash and oh wow Johnny Cash.

Alright.  To sum up,  this is a call to kidness.  Yes kidness.

You should treat people you love like it’s Valentine’s Day often;  you should treat yourself like it’s Valentine’s Day Everyday

Get thwacked with something.  Be Fertile in every way.  Take a chance on a leaf.  Have faith and hope.  Have some fun.  I got your back. 😉

 

 

 

 

Angelina

Today is a big deal because she is my first.  You never forget your first…  🙂

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She took the time to comment on my post and I bet she thought about it a bit before doing it.  I would.  I have.

My beautiful cousin Christine has commented, and my dear friend Amber has commented, and they maybe don’t know how much it meant to me but they do now…

I have no idea how to respond on my laptop to comments yet but Angelina has inspired me to learn.

My email is on my Contact page and I put it there so I am not hidden and anonymous.

I have learned that I am an Introvert and people can make me anxious but in this way it is lovely… I am wiser and older than I would ever admit and I may give good listening;  I might be a person who could just be here.  I would do my best.  I can get mad busy with my boy and my Farm but patience is always a great exercise right?

That is like the THING.  Patience and Tolerance.  These are gifts you give yourself.  It’s not about them its about you… That forgiveness stuff is in there too but much easier for me to swallow if I lump it in. :/

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I have decided to replace one Giant Love Export to many Smaller Love Exports…

So.  Get in line but…Angelina will always be my first.  Thank you Angelina. 😀

P.S.    You will flip out when I tell you about my research on Valentine’s Day.

Luck

Tonight was the Fireworks display over Big Butternut Lake…

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Big is truly relative.  So many words are relative. Just like Ideas and Opinions.

A town called Luck.

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My son Walter is in a Skills Development program in the big city…They want to do an opinion program.  Hmmm. There are many cool things we can learn from the Autistic.  I won’t dig into this now but I will later…

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For Me this is about sharing and opening up.  This is NEW for me.  I wasn’t Head Cheerleader or Homecoming Queen.  Meaning:  the Social web of, “I want you to like me, will you?”, psychology was lost on me.  So I will just say what I say…  I want that to be O.k..

Just know that it comes from a desire for a peaceful, tolerant, cooperative relationship.

The truth is that I have a deep raw wound I am trying Heal.  I have to face it and scrub it out or else it can get infected…I don’t want that.

Anyway, this is a picture of my bedroom window… I will be O.K. 😉

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This is a picture of the Barn when It was Young and Beautiful… It is not the Christy Brinkley of barns.

old-red-barnI want to share another chunk of the William Blake Poem from yesterday…

“…Man was Made for Joy and Woe

and when This we Rightly Know

Through the World we Safely go…”

 

We are all truly blessed with this experience.

I need a puppy real bad.

 

The Snow Moon and the Winter Carnival…

“Carnival”,  is a stretch for this City Girl but the small town 14 miles west of my Farm is called Luck.  So cute.

It is not a huge affair, but just a charming,  soulful,  gathering of locals and one or two wannabes, (me).  Here is the Ice Castle.

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There was an Ice Castle lighting ceremony that coincided with a Flag retirement.

When the American Flag that you have, or anyone has, or some Library, or any other Institution has used it and it has seen better days, it is proper to dispose of it in a special way.

My Grandfather Edgar and my Uncle Bob both were enlisted in World War II.  Both were in the Navy.

The National Guard were on hand to respectfully fold and salute and ceremoniously burn these old tattered and torn Flags…

I was initially there to network and hang out and chat and blend in but I was really taken aback by the Pomp and Circumstance.

I stopped with the snapshots and looked at the fire.  Fire is so beautiful when you want it to be there.

Combustion is on the list of things that BLOW my mind.

Dinosaurs and Gravity and Photosynthesis are also on that list…

All types of political opinions are represented in this town;  for sure it is more politically diverse than racially diverse.  But we all stood together by the fire.

I personally was awestruck with the history and symbolism of this fabric.

The United States of America,

Not really united lately and maybe not ever…

We will never all look alike, love alike, or worship alike but we could Unite in Tolerance.  The world IS round.

This beautiful Earth and the ALL the souls who call it home seem to have taken a backseat to money, greed, politics and power…

But!!  Springtime is just around the corner.  I am planning the garden and I will start oodles of seeds soon.  My Mother Earth wants me to focus on growing plants and my Self.

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Bliss doesn’t just happen;  you have to be its’  Architect

Art and Music are something to be Cherished. CHERISHED!

William Blake.  American Poet.  Just the first few lines of a poem I love:

For you.  I might know you and I might not.  But I Love You. 🙂

Auguries of Innocence by William Blake

“To see a World in a Grain of Sand

And Heaven in a Wild Flower

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand

And Eternity in an Hour”…

Take nothing for granted people…especially Love.

 

Fate of Souls…

I have begun to take comfort in my posts or maybe it is a Greatfulness of the perfect way to let the long spaghetti string of me slide out in a straightish line…

Anyone who has ever spent time with me knows that I :  Change subjects quickly and without warning,  Any tree I see I mentally climb it in my imagination and dream of having chainsaw arms to cut the dead wood away,  And I am always drawn away from people by plants and dogs…

I have started and stopped and erased and taken a break but I need to do this tonight…

I just spent the last few days and nights in the hospital with my son Walt.  He had a stroke inside of me before he was born and ever since we have handled Developmental Delay and  Autism and Partial Paralysis on his right side.100_1859

 

 

Anyway all of this has resulted in seizures that won’t be controlled with meds and so we go in for a video EEG every now and then to just be reminded that it is what it is…  HE loves the hospital and the girls and the food and the attention and such.

I don’t love to be reminded of every minute and possibility and the way everyone treated me and all the feelings I had as his Mother who just wanted and wanted to do a good job… SO.  I was tense and did not sleep well the night before we went to St. Paul Children’s Hospital which is amazing by the way, ( and on my list for a cash gift when I get rich ), and so I needed to workout to wake up before the long two hour drive on fresh snow which ordinarily I LOVE.  🙂

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I say all of this to try my new OPEN attitude and your patience but more importantly to show how random things can hit your day and life when you least expect it to.

I’m jumping on my mini trampoline in the special room where I have my books and my mini trampoline,  and I keep seeing Walden. Walden. Walden.

Henry David Thoreau lived in the 1800’s and he wrote Walden about his two years and two months and two days that he spent in a cabin he built on the land of his friend,  Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I only learned that because I grabbed the book that I received as a gift from my brother years ago to read later, (maybe 🙂 ), as I ran off to wake Walt and give him his meds.   (He has been on more than five different ones at the same time for as long as I can remember).

OK.  So we are racing around and driving and checking in and blood tests and doing the wires on his head and the paperwork and all the talking and settling etc..  I am actually not that happy with my morning challenge to myself;  Thoreau has a poetic way of writing that is hard to follow.  I wished I had just grabbed a plant catalog.

But.  We get to a settled spot and my job is to sit next to him and press a button if I see a seizure so it makes a mark on his EEG.  I whip out this book and my new reading glasses,  ( you cannot escape aging, period. ).   I am really hit hard instantly by its’ relevance to my life but also the message I have kind of been wanting to share.

It is about the values of self-sufficiency and the shallowness of culture and the hell of the Rat Race treadmill…  It challenges what do we think has value?

There is a shoe designer who made the bottom of his shoes red.  He makes tons of money off of insecurity.  I sold shoes in high school.  I know how much they cost to make.  Good for him. Sad for anyone who needs them.

OK back to more meaty bits…  here is something I did not know at all but just learned:  Henry David Thoreau wrote essays on Civil Disobedience that inspired Gandhi and Martin Luther King  JR.  Whhaat?

This realization makes me Google him and look up everything before I even get through page five.

Today of all days,  and this time in our lives,  and this point in our Earth’s future,  the State of our conflicted society is all represented and discussed in his writings…

I beg you to just Google him and look at a few different links.  I was hit hard by the Walden stuff because I have always wanted to try to live off the land and have always thought designer clothes were ridiculous. 🙂

BUT this Civil Disobedience stuff is really fascinating and I just want to propose and ponder the question:  Where did you learn what you know?  Before you grab your fat sharpie to make your sign, and I hope you do either way,  please educate yourself by reading many sources and using your gut instinct.

Walt is at the end of the road for medication.  This human is THE purest soul that I have ever known.

All life is precious.  All lives matter.  More than power or profit or feeling like you are right.   100 years from now these humans won’t be here. But this plant will I hope…

I am so glad to be back HOME.  I love Wisconsin.  I LOVE being a mom.

 

 

 

 

(sigh)



Greetings!  I hope you had a proper Sunday…

Sunday is the day to chill and do what your heart needs…

First,  I will start by saying I am not willing to take the time right now to figure out fonts and size etc..  I could have been eaten by a Python snake faster than I got through my last post.

I have been as busy as a friendly tornado but still I feel like the kid who has been ordered to go clean her room and,  in my case,   I find myself drawing Unicorns with I Love Lucy playing in the background on a tiny old black and white television sitting on an ratty bar stool getting nothing done…

Speaking of old there really is no way to make you really feel the pile of things in front of me.  Lifting things with your arms is different from lifting things with your brain!

It’s not a hoarding type pile but it is a, “There might be another Depression”, pile. PILE!

I will say that he might not be wrong but even still, mouse pee is mouse pee.(right?)

I woke Dad up from his early nap and he explained how to fix my electric issue with the Garden Bunkhouse from the other day while keeping one eye on Judge Judy…I have to admit she is special.  So is He. 🙂

So,  with the Garden shed/ future Bunkhouse underway,  I have turned some attention to this cool old actual house that was built for a WWI veteran who owned 40 acres north of here and my Grandpa bought the land and house when the Vet passed and hauled it down here…img_4198

So.  Is this not a future cabin?  There is already a spot in the middle ready for a modern wood stove…(rustic doesn’t have to mean risky).  Needs a fresh shingling after that is installed and this foundation corner WILL be fixed before anyone gets a good nights sleep.  I really have lots of ideas about this building. img_4217

Again. Filled with jewels and junk.  Mostly junk but I have to take it easy so my Dad doesn’t get nervous.img_4199

 

You might need that someday.  It might be worth something sometime.  Just put it up in the barn until we decide…

So you come up and let’s paint this and count the Eagles and Deer and Pheasants.

Socks outside of your pants and you are safe from the random wood tick. I promise. 🙂

It has not been smooth sailing with my Dad ever since I turned 11 but we are easing into a more adult relationship.  He has facial hair now, (something I never ever saw until lately),  and I wake up early and actually do stuff…

Also,  I can make Hot Food…  🙂  My Mother passed almost two years ago and he can do a potato in the microwave and toast with a chunk of Spam to keep alive along with the Protein shakes and V8 and Prune juice I keep stocked in the fridge but I know how to grill meat outside.  He does not.  How cute is that?

Now to the cool part… I came in and put on my Green Bay Packers jammies and tried to figure out this new smart T.V.

Soil Science = Computer Technology.     NOPE

I’m as bored as you now so LISTEN.  I have not laughed so hard I cried in sooo long.

In my actually easy project to connect the new television to the Internets,  I stumbled onto the Seinfeld bloopers and had a lovely time and THEN it took me to Comedians in Cars getting Coffee.  It’s on http://www.crackle.com.  I now know what the phrase, “Tickled Pink”, means…  Pink is good.

I don’t know what you like or don’t like or what you think is funny or really worth taking your overalls off for and just be…

We all have so much to do and places to go and people who need this or that but I seriously sneaked in this chunk of weekend to be entertained and I really needed it.

You go get yours…  I am here if you need me.

 

Where do I Start?

“Oh my Goodness”,  is what my Grandma used to say… I have been taking a close look at and in everything around here. It’s not pretty but it’s so darn beautiful.  Right now it’s quiet and crisp and nothing stinks… With only myself to consult and just getting used to the sound of my own opinion,  I have created my game plan which will likely need adjustments but here we go: img_4196 First I clean out any, (so much), garbage and non-garden related tools and put only garden tools and ingredients in here. You can see what I’m up against.? img_4197 One day this would make a neat bunkhouse. I will find new windows and screens. It used to be a Milk House. There is a cement hole with a lid to keep the milk cool. My Grandpa had his own cows for awhile and then just rented the field and barn to a neighbor Cow man.
Did you know that cows can live 40 years if we allowed them to?
Anyways the electric is patchy so that’s important and I will work around my Dad’s nap schedule and we can figure that out. My first priority has to be preparing to build the vegetable garden. My Grandma was a simpler farmer gardener and the plot looked like this… img_4155 My Mom was more of a Martha Stewart wannabe and had my Dad do this. img_4206 My first desire was to rip it out and return it to the way it was, but now I can see that it is only me working here right now so I best leave it this season and evaluate it for the future Berry Orchard.
Have you ever heard of Gooseberries?
I hope one day I can wander out here in my 70’s with lavender tinted hair and eat raspberries and strawberries and gooseberries mmmmmm.   I hope I have someone to share with… img_4201 Inside this fence are shrubs and perennials I can dig up and move up by the deck. I need to wash and sand and paint the deck before I redo the Landscape Design around it right? img_4224 AND. Because I am a Lakeshore Restoration Specialist, I need to start my Native Plant Nursery to supply my business…OH SO exciting and head spinning!
This writing really helps me think and focus and I don’t feel as all alone…I do hope one day you will visit. 🙂 Until then just send some positive vibes!

It’s not all about me…

I tripped into a pot hole this weekend and crawled out feeling more serious about my plans…img_2107

I feel like I am truly figuring out what to do here on my own and learning to trust my education and instincts.img_3965

Tonight or this morning,  take a moment and think about where you would want to be, and with whom, and doing what…   How long will you wait and why? img_2108

Don’t wait for anything.  Talk to me I will give you what you need to dig deep…

I have had a long day… I said goodbye to an old friend and the Packers lost…

BUT life goes on.  It does. With or without you. But that is how it is supposed to be.  Rock this day people!  And then rock the next…This is my Sucker Creek.  Come see 🙂img_3933

 

another day in Muddapolis

There are so many things I love about Minneapolis! (but super muddy today)

If you ever visit go to:  The top of the Foshay tower,  check out the Twins stadium (you don’t need a ticket),  The Walker Sculpture garden,  The Minneapolis Institute of Art,  walk the Stone Arch Bridge and check out St. Anthony Main Street.  You also HAVE to check out the Minnehaha Falls and take a ride around The Lakes.  On some summer nights the River Rats Waterski team practices on the river (human pyramids and stuff).  All throughout the city is a Greenway and you can rent a bike and ride all over…oh and if you like green beans go to Kinhdo on Hennepin and order the chicken and green beans… you’ll die.Wayne Moran Photography

If you are going to visit, contact me because I have way more suggestions.

However, the more time I spend here on the farm, the more intense everything seems in the city.  People are racing around doing this or that.  Traffic is hostile, nobody says Hi or even smiles..

It’s like the people are all on an assembly line conveyor belt.  Doing the same thing as days go by, as weeks go by, as years go bye!!

I just want to scream and make them stop and say,” The more you make the more they take! “,  if they could know or wake up and realize that we all have a limited time here and is this really how you want to live?

I know I don’t have room for everyone here (but lots),  and some people just want and need more stuff.  So I will just feel blessed and thankful and try to put out some good vibes.  I wouldn’t trade this opportunity for anything.

I am NOT braggy!  I seriously have a MOUNTAIN of work to do to get this Farm going again.  Tons.  Huge amount.  Massive project.  I will show you pics soon…

And.  I am mostly alone in this so think about a visit to Sucker Creek Farm and we will work for awhile but then have a blast in the woods or the field or a lake or down by Sucker Creek!  You will never sleep better I guarantee it.