Fate of Souls…

I have begun to take comfort in my posts or maybe it is a Greatfulness of the perfect way to let the long spaghetti string of me slide out in a straightish line…

Anyone who has ever spent time with me knows that I :  Change subjects quickly and without warning,  Any tree I see I mentally climb it in my imagination and dream of having chainsaw arms to cut the dead wood away,  And I am always drawn away from people by plants and dogs…

I have started and stopped and erased and taken a break but I need to do this tonight…

I just spent the last few days and nights in the hospital with my son Walt.  He had a stroke inside of me before he was born and ever since we have handled Developmental Delay and  Autism and Partial Paralysis on his right side.100_1859



Anyway all of this has resulted in seizures that won’t be controlled with meds and so we go in for a video EEG every now and then to just be reminded that it is what it is…  HE loves the hospital and the girls and the food and the attention and such.

I don’t love to be reminded of every minute and possibility and the way everyone treated me and all the feelings I had as his Mother who just wanted and wanted to do a good job… SO.  I was tense and did not sleep well the night before we went to St. Paul Children’s Hospital which is amazing by the way, ( and on my list for a cash gift when I get rich ), and so I needed to workout to wake up before the long two hour drive on fresh snow which ordinarily I LOVE.  🙂


I say all of this to try my new OPEN attitude and your patience but more importantly to show how random things can hit your day and life when you least expect it to.

I’m jumping on my mini trampoline in the special room where I have my books and my mini trampoline,  and I keep seeing Walden. Walden. Walden.

Henry David Thoreau lived in the 1800’s and he wrote Walden about his two years and two months and two days that he spent in a cabin he built on the land of his friend,  Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I only learned that because I grabbed the book that I received as a gift from my brother years ago to read later, (maybe 🙂 ), as I ran off to wake Walt and give him his meds.   (He has been on more than five different ones at the same time for as long as I can remember).

OK.  So we are racing around and driving and checking in and blood tests and doing the wires on his head and the paperwork and all the talking and settling etc..  I am actually not that happy with my morning challenge to myself;  Thoreau has a poetic way of writing that is hard to follow.  I wished I had just grabbed a plant catalog.

But.  We get to a settled spot and my job is to sit next to him and press a button if I see a seizure so it makes a mark on his EEG.  I whip out this book and my new reading glasses,  ( you cannot escape aging, period. ).   I am really hit hard instantly by its’ relevance to my life but also the message I have kind of been wanting to share.

It is about the values of self-sufficiency and the shallowness of culture and the hell of the Rat Race treadmill…  It challenges what do we think has value?

There is a shoe designer who made the bottom of his shoes red.  He makes tons of money off of insecurity.  I sold shoes in high school.  I know how much they cost to make.  Good for him. Sad for anyone who needs them.

OK back to more meaty bits…  here is something I did not know at all but just learned:  Henry David Thoreau wrote essays on Civil Disobedience that inspired Gandhi and Martin Luther King  JR.  Whhaat?

This realization makes me Google him and look up everything before I even get through page five.

Today of all days,  and this time in our lives,  and this point in our Earth’s future,  the State of our conflicted society is all represented and discussed in his writings…

I beg you to just Google him and look at a few different links.  I was hit hard by the Walden stuff because I have always wanted to try to live off the land and have always thought designer clothes were ridiculous. 🙂

BUT this Civil Disobedience stuff is really fascinating and I just want to propose and ponder the question:  Where did you learn what you know?  Before you grab your fat sharpie to make your sign, and I hope you do either way,  please educate yourself by reading many sources and using your gut instinct.

Walt is at the end of the road for medication.  This human is THE purest soul that I have ever known.

All life is precious.  All lives matter.  More than power or profit or feeling like you are right.   100 years from now these humans won’t be here. But this plant will I hope…

I am so glad to be back HOME.  I love Wisconsin.  I LOVE being a mom.





One thought on “Fate of Souls…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s