Is it Monday?

I slept all day yesterday!

I lived the most transformative three or so days while fighting off a cold and so needed to sleeeep.

I was so High after the Moses Organic Farming Conference and all the adrenaline and the doors and windows flying open in my head and heart ;  I also enjoyed the most beautiful drive up Highway 53 on my way home.

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Like.  I could not believe that after all the tickling information and unexpected metamorphosis that I got to enjoy that gorgeous landscape art all the way home…

It was seriously like driving through one Christmas Card after another around every curve!

This pic is lame from my phone and driving. 😦   just trust me.

Blessings truly surround us all.  Just LOOK!   (or,  listen or,  just make eye contact with a stranger and smile.)  It’s fun to see how they react.

Learning to be alone and feel so so happy and not have to call or text someone to share it that instant is what I think ZEN means.  ” Life is what happens while you are taking pictures of it and posting it and tweeting it.”  A bloke names John Lennon said something like that once.  🙂

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But. I also know I have you and so like a News Reporter I am taking it all in and sifting through and finding my story.

I tend to enjoy driving in silence when I know I had better contemplate.  The NEWS rarely informs me of anything I can use but I do love non- fiction audio books for long trips.  I have a library card. I have taken many long drives to Bismarck, ND.  Yep you heard me.

Besides my Beekeeping class,  I did a Mushroom class and a Soil CPR class which is about restoring health to old fields like the ones that surround me…

I am in love with Bees but I still prefer Dogs…

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The last class before I left was all about Herbs.  Growing and eating and selling, but, also  intriguingly about the History of their medicinal uses and in the most common sense kind of way, the science of adding them to our bodies for true health from the inside.  Tinctures, Teas, Salves… Supporting the body to heal itself.  It isn’t crazy to think that it is possible.; It is crazy to think it is not. (insert bomb sound here).

So I am driving through Eau Claire and it is not as lovely and I have organized my thoughts to my satisfaction and have a tentative game plan for convincing my Dad that I left the farm Wednesday as a Garden Designer and Lakeshore Restoration Specialist and I have returned a FARMER.  Do they make Pink Tractors?  JK

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My son,  Walt likes Bruce Springsteen.  Just his new stuff.  He is Autistic and likes what he likes and is always ruining CD’s.  So I peruse the used CD’s when I am out thrifting with my uncle Orville.  You will meet Orv later.

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SO.   I remember that under the seat is the sack of CD’s and one of which is Prince’s Purple Rain…I couldn’t not buy it.  I loved him in high school.  He is from my hometown.  I have been in the same room as him many times.  His death disturbed me.  I did not run to Paisley Park or listen to his music.  It gave me a sick feeling.  This extremely talented and generous and loving and unique man died from little white pills made in a laboratory.

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More people die every year from legal prescription drugs than illegal drugs. Google it

You can be sure I will talking more about Medicinal Herbs here soon!

After his hip surgeries Prince had so much pain.  He did so much in those high heels and I am sad he is gone.  I made this in like 1986.

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But. I am new now. But now I am Brave.  Can’t hide from scary stuff right?

I am not the nervous insecure girl driving around Lake Calhoun jamming to Purple Rain in the 80’s  and wondering what will become of me; I know who I am and where I am going.

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From Eau Claire to Cumberland I sang along with him and remembered every word.

I need a sound system in the Barn!

p.s. tree story still on deck soon

 

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ALSO.  THIS HAPPENED.  Grandma with Orv close and my Dad behind. Maybe 1943. I Don’t know the cow,s name but there are more in the front yard!   Part of me is like what??  and part of me is like oh cool!!

Time for Business!

So we all know the bubbling soup I have been swimming in…

Learning and thinking and feeling…and learning.

Meet Lacrosse!  I signed up for the MOSES Conference back in December. Thankfully I did it just before the rug was pulled out from under me.

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Cryptic yes but soulful people can imagine…

Anyway,  my JOB is to develop a Farm.  A Work, Stay, and Play,  Farm because I don’t have six kids and I am for sure not 21.

I am here in Lacrosse, Wisconsin attending the biggest Organic Farming Conference in the World.  People from all over come year after year to learn and connect.

Regular Folks do not understand that Organic Farming Science is all grassroots.

No giant Corporation funds it or persuades it or alters it.  It was a Gorgeous environment today.

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I need to give a shout out to my uncle Orville for funding my tuition…And also my friend Jay who took me places I always wanted to go and made me realize I can do it on my own.

Wisconsin has many delightful little towns…  This one is larger than most due to the Mississippi River that has really been a major player in many towns and cities.

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Thursday is today and I did 8 hours of Beekeeping deliciousness with a chemical free attitude based on Science that no one has funded.  It is not newsworthy.

We will talk about the news later.

One thing Trump has right is that media is a business  , just like Soap Operas and/ or Dr. Oz, and Dr.Phil,  and the well- planned out things that we are fed in the Doctor wait rooms and the gas stations and I seriously watched the Inauguration in the chilling room of Harmon Auto Glass.  Walt had messed up another windshield.

Any way I am here doing farming  stuff because I have been serious all along..

Today was about Bees but tomorrow and Saturday I will dig into Business and Soil Science.

I have a room to myself and the computer wants to fight…

I got you soon. here is some pics…

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you have no clue how key the HoneyBees are….  you will soon.

Every CHUNK of NATURE around you is KEY to Human Survival.

Do not screw around. 🙂

you are Nature.  I am Nature.  we are Nature.

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Reader. Dear Friend. Dear Human.

I do still have a great tree story to share and I will soon but this is this:

I have friends and family that I LOVE.. Drop it all no questions asked kind of Love.

Not many but the ones that are in that Group are In. In!

I met an amazing woman a few weeks ago who asked me to consider writing for the local paper.  She is the Editor.   I did consider it but my Walt reality stops any idea of being reliable or timely for anything.  I am thankful that He will make me build my own business and likely employ disabled people.  Anywaysss.

Editor Lynda and I had such a great time talking and sharing and I am admiring her every second we talked and laughed and I remember why I have always wanted a sister

We did the back and forth text stuff and I lost touch with her over her busy paper publishing days in the last two weeks but I kept bugging and finally she told me that her Horse of 27 years had died and she layed in the pasture with him until he passed… She did that and I fell in love with this human, soulful, woman.

Wouldn’t  you?

Then.

My darling tiny friend from High school Lori has an elderly father who was vibrant and sassy and bossy until he wasn’t…

He was an 89 year old man and lived and lived but as a Daughter you have no idea what losing your Dad is all about. For her this was at Monday at 5 am.  She is all grown up now.   Her mom passed years ago..

Also..

My super gorgeous friend Amber lost her Father -in Law on Sunday…

Her Husband Andrew is one of the best Men I have ever known.

How do we comfort people in these situations?

So. Do I say live EACH day as it may be your last?

Do I say remember to tell the ones you love that you so totally LOVE them?

Well..  I toddled in to my Dads’ room to say something sweet and he acted like I told him he had a booger in his nose. Seriously.

Wow.

The late night chat here is this;  we should take nothing for granted…

Never miss an opportunity to express Love.  Even if they make a FACE   Be Brave.

I think the ones who sneer, (my Dad),  need it the most.

He won’t let me love him.. Can’t say it. Can’t show it. Maybe I can clean his bathroom or buy him windshield wipers…or bring him a donut or a newspaper.

My heart tonight is really with those who have lost ones they love..

Remember it is Ok to let people love you while you are alive.

p,s I touched a real Wolf. 🙂

 

Wolf 1. Wolf 2.

First.  Sometimes this computer stuff makes me need to run down to the highway and back to blow off steam…  I get frustrated easy when I know what I want to do or say and electronics stop me.

I forgot my password or typed it in wrong and was made to wait for 30 minutes to reset…And still it messed with me.  I must love you and/or this connecting thing,  because I hung in here;  but I am silly to act like it is for you and you alone.  (The truth is that I started this post on Friday and gave my laptop the silent treatment while I was busy being a Farm Girl.)

I want and need to do this.  It truly helps me specifically and the part where you listen and read is so motivating… and the comments are so cool.  Super cool.    I can’t see your face.  I can’t hear you breathe. I don’t feel worry.   I can’t interpret your response with body language or face moves.  I can just be me here… And, you can too.

Preface aside,  I had two Wolf experiences this week.  It is ironic that I wanted to savor it for myself and then,  when I am ready to share, I hit a speed bump.

Computers sort of suck.  And. Computers are sort of cool.

It was my Walt week and I usually schedule Business or Doctor stuff in the City at the same time.  So.  Early Wednesday morning I woke up feeling rested and blessed that I had ten minutes to stare at the trees outside my window.  We needed to be on the road by 7am. I pop out to the Family room with the huge picture window to try some Yoga moves and I see three deer galloping like happy horses down in the field…

Just perky and jumpy and bony.  Just alive.  Living.

Deer are all around here and not such a big deal to us locals. 🙂    But. Have you seen one?

I love all animals and wow this Planet has tons…

We make it to the Jeep in time to stop at the Mortgage Title Company in the next town.  I needed to deal with paperwork regarding my Mom and Dad and my brother and this 80 acres and what will be what.  My mom died and her name was on this Deed.  We needed to remove her name.  Avoiding Probate stuff…pfft.

Anyway.  I am waiting for the lovely girl to process my papers and she gets a call and puts me in a room with a stuffed White Wolf and I love dogs and so I just wanted a closer look.  She leaves to answer the phone and I check it out.  This White Wolf was scrawny and stuffed and posed on a log but still a wolf/dog.  I felt its’ body and paws.  The paws were huge,  the fur softish.  But like it had hairspray on it.  I WAS grossed out at its’ fate.  I love dogs.  Now I love Wolves too…

Meanwhile,  Walt is chillin with his Ipad in the waiting room…

We do our business and hit the road… I am thinking all day about:  I wonder how that Wolf ended up stuffed in a conference room in Milltown , Wisconsin.  And are there white wolves around here or did they ship it from someplace?  And when will I get a puppy?

The next day.

Backpack and boy and snacks in the Jeep for our 90 minute ride to Minneapolis and off we go…

The Sun as it rises makes everything reddish but the snow in the shade is blueish and the Horses are out eating what they eat and I, at my age, (spiritual more than chronological),  just revel revel revel…,  55 miles per hour and there are Goats and Sheep grazing on what they can or do,  and Eagles are looking for roadkill to munch. I see a group of lady Pheasants running for cover.  Things are melting here too fast!

My mornings always start with a maybe this or a maybe that. One never knows with an Autistic teenager…

I am worshipping the beauty here… I am always trying to be in a Thankful State of Mind anyway,  BUT.    The sky and the trees and the colors of nature are what this whole life experience for me is all about. Blessed Blessed Blessed.  Perfect morning!

It’s like in the olden days when the needle on the record is rocking and rolling and then just hits a snag  and I see what I had to see and after a quick argue in my head, I pull over…scratch .

Even driving fast and having a brain that is so so busy:  I see this maybe dog sleeping on the bridge over the creek and can’t not stop.   I really do just instantly and instinctually pull over.  I sit for a sec.  I know I’m just a human and a huge thing with huge fur is in a pile on a tiny bridge over a creek.   I realize what this experience could do to me possibly.  ALL I KNOW is that if it was my dog I would want someone to say something.  Do something.

I stop.  I back up.

Ohh people It was not a dog.  Oh no it is not sleeping…

It was an amazingly, stunningly, gorgeous creature.

It was just there with no crime scene drama.  Like it was just asleep.

I had backed up close and tiptoed in.   This was a real wolf.

So dignified.  So Regal.

It wasn’t bloody or mangled.  Just asleep -like. But stiff legs.  My heart is pounding. There are no cars whizzing by and no house in sight… Just me and Oh My Gosh I love dogs like crazy so I eased over and touched it.  The fur has so many layers. Super soft on the inside.  Thicker that you could ever imagine but the softest smoothest delicate touch.   It felt like nothing else I have ever felt.  I will never be able to adequately describe it and I will never ever forget it.  I am obviously covered in tears.  Not sobs but just eyes leaking and leaking.  Anyway…

It was fat and healthy looking and I wished it could be my eternal companion…  I imagined us running in the woods and kayaking and cruising in the Jeep.  Silly girl stuff.

I walked back to the car to get my phone to call the DNR to come and get it.  I wasn’t leaving it there.   I also asked Walt to come see…

I can’t say come see this or check this out;  I can only say, “I need help will you help?”

Walt gets out of the Jeep and walks over to the Wolf and picks up a rock and tosses it into the stream and says, ” It’s dead”, and goes back to the car…

His the Yin to my Yang….

I can’t fight with pictures  for this post and the ones you make in your mind are way better anyway.  🙂   I feel so great getting this one out.

I have another big story you will love soon…:D        mmmm Trees

Cherish Life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lupercalia

Ok.  Single or not,  you might be interested to find out how we ended up with this big deal, the big day, the day that can make or break something that should be unbreakable to begin with,  if it is truly real…

Valentine’s Day. … Look at this picture below the flowers.

The truth is,  that most men don’t understand that it is about the friends, the family, the others in the office or warehouse or whatever… They all SEE they all ASK.  They all Judge.  It is not easy to not want the Big Barbie Dream House and to not wantto get it in front of everyone that fusses about it and all around us…

Even though it is shallow and we know it.

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And.  The stories of men who leave or cheat or lie are everywhere. :/  Women too though.

A real Human who knows and feels that you LOVE  them does not care about the Hallmark holiday trappings…

I will never believe that there are not real amazing people who are worth committing to…

So. Back to the research…    This Valentine’s Day can be traced back to the Pagan Holiday called Lupercalia.

 

It is a Fertility festival and had been celebrated for hundreds of years before the Romans and Christians cleaned it up.  Like way B.C.

So.   The men of the village get naked and sacrifice two goats and one dog.

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Then they make mini skirts, (Loin Cloths), out of goat skin and then,   also,    cut long strips of bloody hairy goat skin to thwack the women.

The women have lined up on the street: the pregnant women are hoping for an easy birth. The bloody hairy goat thrash should help.

The un-pregnant women line up to enhance their fertility by having bloody hairy goat skin whapped on them… that will do it.   In some ways it is no more ridiculous that what the Urban Female does.  More on that later.

So.  That happens, and there is a feast of goats and many things, (organic for sure),  and I could not find out why the Dog was included in the sacrifice, other than that dogs will fornicate anywhere and in front of anyone.

Hence the Fertility Ceremony I guess?

But wait!  Folks it gets more interesting…

After the Thwaping and the Feasting the single ladies wrote their name on a leaf and the men would pick one.

Seriously.  The coupling might last a night or week or month but the next year we all go back into the pile… Unless it works out.  Unless he is the One.  So 1970’s right?

Oh Wow.

I do hope you are still here with me because this is for you!   If Valentine’s Day is about Love then I challenge you, coupled or not to remember who you were just before puberty.  Like before the opposite sex was a big deal, what was a big deal?

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I was and am completely nuts for music and puzzles and maps and Encyclopedia Brown and Nancy Drew… I had already nerded out on public television and watched tons of fake wrestling and shows about cars.  I still could spend all darn day at a Car Show.

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Elvis was sort of a big deal because my Moms’ mom loved him and I just fell madly in love with Rock and Roll, and my Grandma, but that led me to the Blues…,

I will digress a second.  Lead Belly,  Robert Johnson,  James Brown,  Bessie Smith,  Buddy Guy,  Johnny Cash and oh wow Johnny Cash.

Alright.  To sum up,  this is a call to kidness.  Yes kidness.

You should treat people you love like it’s Valentine’s Day often;  you should treat yourself like it’s Valentine’s Day Everyday

Get thwacked with something.  Be Fertile in every way.  Take a chance on a leaf.  Have faith and hope.  Have some fun.  I got your back. 😉

 

 

 

 

Angelina

Today is a big deal because she is my first.  You never forget your first…  🙂

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She took the time to comment on my post and I bet she thought about it a bit before doing it.  I would.  I have.

My beautiful cousin Christine has commented, and my dear friend Amber has commented, and they maybe don’t know how much it meant to me but they do now…

I have no idea how to respond on my laptop to comments yet but Angelina has inspired me to learn.

My email is on my Contact page and I put it there so I am not hidden and anonymous.

I have learned that I am an Introvert and people can make me anxious but in this way it is lovely… I am wiser and older than I would ever admit and I may give good listening;  I might be a person who could just be here.  I would do my best.  I can get mad busy with my boy and my Farm but patience is always a great exercise right?

That is like the THING.  Patience and Tolerance.  These are gifts you give yourself.  It’s not about them its about you… That forgiveness stuff is in there too but much easier for me to swallow if I lump it in. :/

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I have decided to replace one Giant Love Export to many Smaller Love Exports…

So.  Get in line but…Angelina will always be my first.  Thank you Angelina. 😀

P.S.    You will flip out when I tell you about my research on Valentine’s Day.

Luck

Tonight was the Fireworks display over Big Butternut Lake…

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Big is truly relative.  So many words are relative. Just like Ideas and Opinions.

A town called Luck.

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My son Walter is in a Skills Development program in the big city…They want to do an opinion program.  Hmmm. There are many cool things we can learn from the Autistic.  I won’t dig into this now but I will later…

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For Me this is about sharing and opening up.  This is NEW for me.  I wasn’t Head Cheerleader or Homecoming Queen.  Meaning:  the Social web of, “I want you to like me, will you?”, psychology was lost on me.  So I will just say what I say…  I want that to be O.k..

Just know that it comes from a desire for a peaceful, tolerant, cooperative relationship.

The truth is that I have a deep raw wound I am trying Heal.  I have to face it and scrub it out or else it can get infected…I don’t want that.

Anyway, this is a picture of my bedroom window… I will be O.K. 😉

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This is a picture of the Barn when It was Young and Beautiful… It is not the Christy Brinkley of barns.

old-red-barnI want to share another chunk of the William Blake Poem from yesterday…

“…Man was Made for Joy and Woe

and when This we Rightly Know

Through the World we Safely go…”

 

We are all truly blessed with this experience.

I need a puppy real bad.

 

The Snow Moon and the Winter Carnival…

“Carnival”,  is a stretch for this City Girl but the small town 14 miles west of my Farm is called Luck.  So cute.

It is not a huge affair, but just a charming,  soulful,  gathering of locals and one or two wannabes, (me).  Here is the Ice Castle.

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There was an Ice Castle lighting ceremony that coincided with a Flag retirement.

When the American Flag that you have, or anyone has, or some Library, or any other Institution has used it and it has seen better days, it is proper to dispose of it in a special way.

My Grandfather Edgar and my Uncle Bob both were enlisted in World War II.  Both were in the Navy.

The National Guard were on hand to respectfully fold and salute and ceremoniously burn these old tattered and torn Flags…

I was initially there to network and hang out and chat and blend in but I was really taken aback by the Pomp and Circumstance.

I stopped with the snapshots and looked at the fire.  Fire is so beautiful when you want it to be there.

Combustion is on the list of things that BLOW my mind.

Dinosaurs and Gravity and Photosynthesis are also on that list…

All types of political opinions are represented in this town;  for sure it is more politically diverse than racially diverse.  But we all stood together by the fire.

I personally was awestruck with the history and symbolism of this fabric.

The United States of America,

Not really united lately and maybe not ever…

We will never all look alike, love alike, or worship alike but we could Unite in Tolerance.  The world IS round.

This beautiful Earth and the ALL the souls who call it home seem to have taken a backseat to money, greed, politics and power…

But!!  Springtime is just around the corner.  I am planning the garden and I will start oodles of seeds soon.  My Mother Earth wants me to focus on growing plants and my Self.

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Bliss doesn’t just happen;  you have to be its’  Architect

Art and Music are something to be Cherished. CHERISHED!

William Blake.  American Poet.  Just the first few lines of a poem I love:

For you.  I might know you and I might not.  But I Love You. 🙂

Auguries of Innocence by William Blake

“To see a World in a Grain of Sand

And Heaven in a Wild Flower

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand

And Eternity in an Hour”…

Take nothing for granted people…especially Love.

 

Fate of Souls…

I have begun to take comfort in my posts or maybe it is a Greatfulness of the perfect way to let the long spaghetti string of me slide out in a straightish line…

Anyone who has ever spent time with me knows that I :  Change subjects quickly and without warning,  Any tree I see I mentally climb it in my imagination and dream of having chainsaw arms to cut the dead wood away,  And I am always drawn away from people by plants and dogs…

I have started and stopped and erased and taken a break but I need to do this tonight…

I just spent the last few days and nights in the hospital with my son Walt.  He had a stroke inside of me before he was born and ever since we have handled Developmental Delay and  Autism and Partial Paralysis on his right side.100_1859

 

 

Anyway all of this has resulted in seizures that won’t be controlled with meds and so we go in for a video EEG every now and then to just be reminded that it is what it is…  HE loves the hospital and the girls and the food and the attention and such.

I don’t love to be reminded of every minute and possibility and the way everyone treated me and all the feelings I had as his Mother who just wanted and wanted to do a good job… SO.  I was tense and did not sleep well the night before we went to St. Paul Children’s Hospital which is amazing by the way, ( and on my list for a cash gift when I get rich ), and so I needed to workout to wake up before the long two hour drive on fresh snow which ordinarily I LOVE.  🙂

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I say all of this to try my new OPEN attitude and your patience but more importantly to show how random things can hit your day and life when you least expect it to.

I’m jumping on my mini trampoline in the special room where I have my books and my mini trampoline,  and I keep seeing Walden. Walden. Walden.

Henry David Thoreau lived in the 1800’s and he wrote Walden about his two years and two months and two days that he spent in a cabin he built on the land of his friend,  Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I only learned that because I grabbed the book that I received as a gift from my brother years ago to read later, (maybe 🙂 ), as I ran off to wake Walt and give him his meds.   (He has been on more than five different ones at the same time for as long as I can remember).

OK.  So we are racing around and driving and checking in and blood tests and doing the wires on his head and the paperwork and all the talking and settling etc..  I am actually not that happy with my morning challenge to myself;  Thoreau has a poetic way of writing that is hard to follow.  I wished I had just grabbed a plant catalog.

But.  We get to a settled spot and my job is to sit next to him and press a button if I see a seizure so it makes a mark on his EEG.  I whip out this book and my new reading glasses,  ( you cannot escape aging, period. ).   I am really hit hard instantly by its’ relevance to my life but also the message I have kind of been wanting to share.

It is about the values of self-sufficiency and the shallowness of culture and the hell of the Rat Race treadmill…  It challenges what do we think has value?

There is a shoe designer who made the bottom of his shoes red.  He makes tons of money off of insecurity.  I sold shoes in high school.  I know how much they cost to make.  Good for him. Sad for anyone who needs them.

OK back to more meaty bits…  here is something I did not know at all but just learned:  Henry David Thoreau wrote essays on Civil Disobedience that inspired Gandhi and Martin Luther King  JR.  Whhaat?

This realization makes me Google him and look up everything before I even get through page five.

Today of all days,  and this time in our lives,  and this point in our Earth’s future,  the State of our conflicted society is all represented and discussed in his writings…

I beg you to just Google him and look at a few different links.  I was hit hard by the Walden stuff because I have always wanted to try to live off the land and have always thought designer clothes were ridiculous. 🙂

BUT this Civil Disobedience stuff is really fascinating and I just want to propose and ponder the question:  Where did you learn what you know?  Before you grab your fat sharpie to make your sign, and I hope you do either way,  please educate yourself by reading many sources and using your gut instinct.

Walt is at the end of the road for medication.  This human is THE purest soul that I have ever known.

All life is precious.  All lives matter.  More than power or profit or feeling like you are right.   100 years from now these humans won’t be here. But this plant will I hope…

I am so glad to be back HOME.  I love Wisconsin.  I LOVE being a mom.